allmymetaphors:

ppl always ask me “”what are you going to do with your degree”“ and “"if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it"" and ""where are you gonna move after college"" but here is the thing:

i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone. 

(via catburps)

catburps:

I was at a social gathering the other day and I was kind of intoxicated and this boy kept trying to hit on me even though I made it really obvious I wasn’t interested and then he started like poking me and grabbing me so I got mad and shouted “I will fucking fight you!” And it’s like look at me how am I gonna fight anyone? Lol

extrasad:

what is ello how do i use it without crying 

(via hayzul)

staff:

fake-mermaid:

i’m so sorry but if you have “works at tumblr” on your facebook profile no hard feelings man but stay as far away from me as u possibly can

rude

(via hayzul)

hhantu:

franfrancatman:

My dad and I made this fishtank for my mum for Christmas a few years ago with dollhouse furniture. I thought it was pretty rad

i cant believe your mom is a fish

(via hayzul)

elephantitisballsack:

Because they create revenue for the university  and you don’t

elephantitisballsack:

Because they create revenue for the university and you don’t

(Source: obamaflakes)

(via hayzul)

amortizing:

third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple

(via hayzul)

comedyaintpretty:

One of the best ending moments in a movie.

(via emotivelogic)